I’m so sorry your partner broke up with you. I can see it in your eyes. You look like you have been crying all night. You didn’t go to work today, instead you decided to stay in bed all day. I totally get it. You definitely need to grieve the relationship. Heck, you gave your partner months or maybe years of your life. He met your family and friends, you spent holidays, work functions, even vacations together. You thought you were going to marry this person! Then BAM!! He leaves you for your best friend. Or he said it’s not you, it’s him. Or he just disappears. After a few days in bed, you begin to get angry. Then you start thinking about retaliating. Woooaaa! Let me stop you right there. Ladies, that is when you get yourself in trouble. Let me tell you three things you should never ever do after a break-up.
Never Drunk Dial Your Ex
I’ve seen this over and over again. Girl goes to bar. Girl drinks a lot. Girl begins to think about ex. Girl thinks it's a good idea to call ex at 2:00 a.m. in the morning after the bar closes. Of course we know this never ends well. It is not like you are calling to check in to make sure he is doing well. No ladies, you are calling because you are ready to lay into your ex about how wrong he did you. When you are on the phone with him, you yell, you scream, you cry. It’s really ugly and your ex will probably hang up on you. Then you feel terrible.
Send a Text or Email to Your Ex
Again, not a good idea. As soon as you hit send, you can never take it back. As previously stated, you are not checking in to see how he is doing. You are letting your ex know he did you wrong and you want to try to change him. Let’s face it ladies, your ex will delete the text or send something back that will make matters worse. Don’t do it.
Tell All Your Ex’s Friends and Family How Much He Hurt You
If he did you wrong, most likely close friends and family already know what type of person he is. They were just waiting for you to figure it out. You don’t need to go ruining his reputation, to make yourself feel good. You are better than that ladies. If you really want to talk about how much he hurt you, talk to a close friend or therapist.
Like I told you before, break-ups are hard. You will be down in the dumps for days, maybe even months. You may feel betrayed, rejected, or abandoned. You may feel sad, depressed, frustrated, angry or anxious. These are all normal feelings. However, have some dignity, and class and release your feeling in appropriate ways. You can talk to friend/family, journal, exercise, meditate or talk to a therapist. Break-ups can be tough, but this too shall pass.
I am a therapist who helps individuals who are motivated to transform their inner voice of self-doubt and self-criticism into a powerful voice of positive self-talk and self-trust. We help individuals recognize their inner worth, build their self-esteem and speak their truth.