Queen, Daddy’s Absence Doesn’t Define Your Worth

“Something must be wrong with me.”
“I’m just not lovable.”
"If I were better, he would have stayed.”

Do these thoughts sound familiar?  These are the common thoughts of girls who were abandoned by their fathers. These girls grow into women. The thoughts are still there.  Now, the thoughts are about the partners and friends who have abandoned them. 

Girl, let me just tell you, these thoughts are LIES. Your father’s choice to leave had everything to do with him, and nothing to do with you or your worth.

Along with these thoughts come a rollercoaster of emotions: 

• Sadness that cuts deep
• Loneliness that feels endless
• Fear of being left again
• That sting of rejection that just won’t quit
  ​

These feelings are valid, however, they don’t have control of your life.

I get it. Your self-esteem also took a hit, and that is understandable. But Girl, it’s time to rebuild. 

• Acknowledge the pain. It’s real and it does matter. Don’t push it down. 
• Challenge those negative thoughts. When you hear, “I’m unlovable",  ask yourself, “Is this really true? Who is in my life that loves me right now?”
• Celebrate your strengths. Make a list of things you’re proud of. Read it daily. 
• Seek professional help.  That’s where I come in. : ) Therapy does not make you weak. It makes you strong. Consider talking to someone that can help guide you on this healing journey.
  
  

Sis, you are worthy with or without your father’s love. Your worth is not tied to his presence or absence. Your worth is not tied to anyone’s presence or absence. Be the love you want to receive.  

• Treat yourself with kindness and speak to yourself like you would a loved one or friend.
• Set boundaries. It is okay to say no to things that don’t serve you. 
• Invest in self-care. Do things that make you feel good inside and out. 

Healing isn’t linear and that’s okay. Some days will be tougher than others. Remember that you are resilient, strong and worthy of love, especially your own. Your father’s absence created a void that can only be filled by self-love, supportive relationships and personal growth. You have the power to rewrite your story, with or without your father in your life. 

​If you are struggling with the pain of abandonment, know that therapy is a phone call or email away. Let's start this healing journey together. I have therapy spots available and I'd be honored to support you. It's never too late to start loving you, no matter who has left you. Reach out to 510-250-3091 or [email protected].

---