From Client to therapist: How my first therapy Session 32 years ago changed me

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and as a therapist, I’m all about promoting mental wellness. Today, I want to share a story I’ve never forgotten—my very first therapy session.

I was 18 and had just started college. I was struggling in so many areas—dating someone who didn’t treat me well, adjusting to college life, juggling a part-time job, learning how to live with a roommate, and trying to find my place in the world.

In high school, I never dated. Partly because my mother didn’t allow it, and partly because no one ever asked me out. I didn’t think too much about it—most of my friends weren’t dating either. But the moment I stepped onto my college campus, that changed. On the first day, a football player approached me and asked for my number. A girl who never dated, was not going to turn down that offer!! I was so excited—someone was finally paying attention to me.

We started dating, but I quickly sensed something wasn’t right. He was sweet sometimes, but other times he was critical and mean. Other women on campus warned me about him, but I didn’t listen. I thought, someone finally loves me and I wasn’t going to let that go.

I began falling apart. I felt sad, overwhelmed, stressed out, sad and anxious. I cried every day. My hair started falling out. Thankfully, I had access to good health insurance through my part-time job, which included 10 free EAP sessions. I was a psychology major, and I figuredd if I wanted to be a therapist, maybe I should try therapy myself. So I made the call.

My first therapist was a kind woman named Connie. She gently asked me why I was staying in a relationship I didn’t feel good about. I didn’t have an answer—just an “I don’t know.” As we talked more, the deeper truth came to the surface: my fear of abandonment and low self-esteem. I was chasing the love I never received from my father. That relationship was filling a painful gap I didn’t even realize existed. That was the beginning of my father wound healing journey.

Even though I only saw Connie for a few sessions and didn’t break up with my boyfriend until two years later, she never judged me. She listened, supported me, and planted the seed that whispered, “You deserve better.” And for that, I will always be grateful.

Since then, I’ve returned to therapy at different points in my life. And yes, even as a therapist, I still go to therapy. We never stop growing. Connie’s impact on me helped shape the therapist I am today. I always strive to make my clients, especially those coming for the first time—feel safe, seen, and heard.

If you’re not feeling like yourself lately or you’re stuck in indecision, feeling overwhelmed, or struggling in your relationships, know that therapy can help.

You don’t have to do this alone. Our DAUGHTERS CONNECTED support group starts May 7th—a space for women healing from father absence, abandonment, and the pain of never feeling “enough.”
Or maybe it’s time to start your own therapy journey—just like I did. Either way, healing is possible. And you deserve it.

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