 Hey Queen, let’s talk some real talk. You know the saying, "You can't pour from an empty cup"? Well, Sis, I lived that truth this past week, and let me tell you, it hit different. My oldest daughter got sick and suddenly, my world flipped upside down. Sound familiar? I bet it does, especially now, since it’s flu season. Mama Bear jumped into action, putting everything on hold. My exercise routine? Gone. My me-time? What me-time? I was stressed, and drowning in guilt. Can you relate? Always ready to let ourselves go to take care of others.
In the midst of the chaos, I had an epiphany! How can I take care of me. I preach self-love all the time, but when it comes to my kids getting sick, I always put them first. This time, I wanted to find a way to do both. That way, I could really be there for them without being worn down and irritated. I chose to practice some self-love, and let me tell you, it was a game-changer. Here's what went down: 1. Coffee with Hubby in the Morning: Instead of gulping down cold coffee while running around, I actually sat down and enjoyed a hot cup with my man. Revolutionary, I know! 2. Bible App Time: A little spiritual food for the soul. It's amazing how a few minutes of reflection can center you. 3.Reaching Out: I swallowed my pride and texted some friends about how I was feeling. Turns out, I'm not the only one who struggles. Who knew? 4. Netflix and Actually Chill: I gave myself permission to watch that show everyone's been talking about. No guilt, just pure entertainment. FYI, The Perfect Couple is good!! 5. Walk it Off: A quick stroll around the block. Fresh air is free therapy, ladies. 6. Garden Therapy: There's something about getting your hands dirty that just grounds you, you know? My tomato plant is looking better each day. 7. Positive Self-Talk: I looked in the mirror and said, "Girl, you're doing great. It's going to be okay. You're a loving mama, and your baby will get better." And you know what? I believed it And, she got better. Now, I know what you're thinking. "That's nice for you, but I don't have time for all that." I hear you, sis. But here's the thing: taking care of yourself isn't selfish. It's necessary. It's like putting on your own oxygen mask before helping others on a plane. You can't be the best version of yourself for your loved ones if you're running on empty. So, to all my queens out there who are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders, who've been hurt, who are doubting themselves, listen up: You are worthy of love, especially your own. Your past doesn't define your future. Those relationships that left you scarred? They taught you strength. That absent father? He missed out on knowing an incredible woman. It's time to open up that beautiful heart of yours. Start small. Be gentle with yourself. Practice self-compassion. Remember, you can't control everything, but you can control how you treat yourself. You've got this, sweetie. We've got this. Let's make self-love as much a part of our routine as taking care of others. Because you deserve it. You are enough. And don't you forget it!! So what can you do to take care of yourself while taking care of others?
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 “Something must be wrong with me.”
“I’m just not lovable.” "If I were better, he would have stayed.” Do these thoughts sound familiar? These are the common thoughts of girls who were abandoned by their fathers. These girls grow into women. The thoughts are still there. Now, the thoughts are about the partners and friends who have abandoned them. Girl, let me just tell you, these thoughts are LIES. Your father’s choice to leave had everything to do with him, and nothing to do with you or your worth. Along with these thoughts come a rollercoaster of emotions:
I get it. Your self-esteem also took a hit, and that is understandable. But Girl, it’s time to rebuild.
Healing isn’t linear and that’s okay. Some days will be tougher than others. Remember that you are resilient, strong and worthy of love, especially your own. Your father’s absence created a void that can only be filled by self-love, supportive relationships and personal growth. You have the power to rewrite your story, with or without your father in your life. If you are struggling with the pain of abandonment, know that therapy is a phone call or email away. Let's start this healing journey together. I have therapy spots available and I'd be honored to support you. It's never too late to start loving you, no matter who has left you. Reach out to 510-250-3091 or [email protected]. |
AuthorI am a therapist who helps loves motivating women to transform their inner voice of self-doubt and self-criticism into a powerful voice of positive self-talk, self-trust and self-love. I help individuals recognize their inner worth, build their self-esteem and speak their truth. Archives
May 2025
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