Sis, You Got This: 5 Tips to Slay Self-Doubt After Disappointment

Hey Sis! It’s been a whirlwind two weeks! I’m a huge Olympics fan! I’m bummed it is over. Now what am I going to do for the next four years?

During the Olympics we saw some incredible highs and heartbreaking lows. From my girls Sha’Carri Richardson and Simone Biles slaying their comebacks, to Jordan Chiles losing her medal over a missed deadline, and the men's 4x100 baton mishap – it's been a rollercoaster of emotions.

These moments of success and disappointment are not just for elite athletes.You face your own Olympics on a daily basis. You bombed a job interview or presentation, failed a college exam, or a relationship setback, can be disappointing. How do you bounce back from something you put your blood, sweat and tears into? Here are 5 tips to help you move past disappointment and rediscover your inner Queen.

Girl, Feel Your Feelings

It’s okay to be upset, angry, or sad. You didn't get your promotion, allow yourself to feel your emotions. Cry your heart out. You know that snotty cry? Yes, that one. Try listening to some music. I have both “angry” and “sad”  playlists on Spotify. When I'm pissed, I put on the angry playlist and punch my pillow. Let your feelings out. Keeping them in won’t help you in the long-term. 

Sis, Let’s Reframe Your Story 

Now that you let out your feelings, what are you telling yourself?  “I’m a failure”, “I suck at this”, or “I’m never gonna find love”. How about “I’m learning.”  “I get to work on areas of growth”, or  “I will date so I can find the best relationship for me.” What lessons can you learn from your experiences? 

Self-Care Is Not Selfish

Yes, honey, you heard me. Self-care is not selfish and don’t let anyone tell you it is. You saw how our girl Simone Biles tapped out of the 2020 Olympics to take care of your mental health. Why can’t you take care of yourself for an hour, a day, or a week in order to take care of your mental health? Whatever you need to do to get back on track, get it done. A bubble bath, reading a book by the beach or at the park,  a solo trip or therapy. Figure out how to refill your cup. 

Set Some New Goals Sis

Maybe your dating profile needs a revamp. Maybe it’s time to hire a career coach instead of sitting on LinkedIn waiting for recruiters to find you. Maybe practice your presentation skills in front of the mirror or a friend instead of winging it. Sis, don’t give up, just pivot. 

Find Your Sister Circle

Your cheerleaders. You biggest fans. Just like Olympians have their coaches and teammates, you need your support system. Reach out to your ride-or-dies when self-doubt starts to creep in.  Sometimes we need someone else to hold up the mirror so we can see our beautiful reflection to show us our true reflection. 
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Girl, you got this. Disappointment is a part of life.  You’ve got the strength, resilience and fire within you to overcome any obstacle. If Sha’Carri and Simone can bounce back, so can you. I pray Jordan has a sister circle surrounding her so she can bounce back too.

If you're finding it hard to bounce back from disappointment, remember you don't have to go it alone. If you need someone to talk to, to help you cope with your emotions, set new goals, and learning to practice self-care, I've got you. I have therapy slots available, and I'd be honored to support you.
Reach out to me at 510-250-3091 or [email protected].

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