I’m so sorry your partner broke up with you. I can see it in your eyes. You look like you have been crying all night. You didn’t go to work today, instead you decided to stay in bed all day. I totally get it. You definitely need to grieve the relationship. Heck, you gave your partner months or maybe years of your life. He met your family and friends, you spent holidays, work functions, even vacations together. You thought you were going to marry this person! Then BAM!! He leaves you for your best friend. Or he said it’s not you, it’s him. Or he just disappears. After a few days in bed, you begin to get angry. Then you start thinking about retaliating. Woooaaa! Let me stop you right there. Ladies, that is when you get yourself in trouble. Let me tell you three things you should never ever do after a break-up.
Never Drunk Dial Your Ex
I’ve seen this over and over again. Girl goes to bar. Girl drinks a lot. Girl begins to think about ex. Girl thinks it's a good idea to call ex at 2:00 a.m. in the morning after the bar closes. Of course we know this never ends well. It is not like you are calling to check in to make sure he is doing well. No ladies, you are calling because you are ready to lay into your ex about how wrong he did you. When you are on the phone with him, you yell, you scream, you cry. It’s really ugly and your ex will probably hang up on you. Then you feel terrible.
Send a Text or Email to Your Ex
Again, not a good idea. As soon as you hit send, you can never take it back. As previously stated, you are not checking in to see how he is doing. You are letting your ex know he did you wrong and you want to try to change him. Let’s face it ladies, your ex will delete the text or send something back that will make matters worse. Don’t do it.
Tell All Your Ex’s Friends and Family How Much He Hurt You
If he did you wrong, most likely close friends and family already know what type of person he is. They were just waiting for you to figure it out. You don’t need to go ruining his reputation, to make yourself feel good. You are better than that ladies. If you really want to talk about how much he hurt you, talk to a close friend or therapist.
Like I told you before, break-ups are hard. You will be down in the dumps for days, maybe even months. You may feel betrayed, rejected, or abandoned. You may feel sad, depressed, frustrated, angry or anxious. These are all normal feelings. However, have some dignity, and class and release your feeling in appropriate ways. You can talk to friend/family, journal, exercise, meditate or talk to a therapist. Break-ups can be tough, but this too shall pass.
Happy New Year Everyone!!!
This is my first blog of the new year. YAY!! Actually, this is my first blog in about six months!! Yikes!! You know what? I’m okay with it.
In 2017, I kept hearing that in order to be successful, I needed to be creating content all the time in order to stay relevant.
“ You need to blog once a week.”
“ You need to update your profile every few months.”
“ You need to write a book.” (I actually did this because I really wanted to)
“ You need to submit your content to news sources.”
It became too overwhelming. Once in awhile, I would start a blog, but I wouldn’t finish because I didn’t think it was good enough or I just didn’t know what to say. After awhile, I decided not to write at all. I threw in the towel. The self-doubt that I always explored with my clients had crept in and taken a stronghold in 2017 and my blogging days were done.
Fast forward to 2018. Besides not blogging, I decided not to write any new year's resolutions. Year after year, I would write list after list of resolutions in January, and by March, I would forget all about them. I would stop working out, stop eating healthy, stop balancing my checkbook, or stop whatever I had sworn I was going to do for that year. So this year, I decided to do something different. A coworker of mine said a few years ago, she began to pick a word/theme for the year and would use it to direct her life. It sounded like a great idea. I couldn’t think of anything right way until a few days later when someone posted on Facebook, “What is your theme for the year?” The first thing that came to mind was “Doin It My Way!” Yes indeed. I just loved the way it sounded. I loved the way I felt when I said it out loud. When I said it, I felt STRONG, FREE, UNAPOLOGETIC. Now, “Doin It My Way!” will speak to how I run my business, raise my children, foster my marriage and relationships and live my life.
For the past few days, I’ve walked around with my theme in my head, feeling just as confident as ever. This morning, “Write a blog, Mpho” kept popping in my head. Eek!! Not this blogging thing again. Didn't I leave this back in 2017? However, I realized I could use this opportunity to blog about my experience of moving through self-doubt. I also realized that since I am “Doin It My Way!”, I could blog any time I feel like it. I don’t have to be tied down by all the rules about “content” like I was before. Self-doubt be gone!!!. Now blogging doesn’t seem so overwhelming because I am “Doin It My Way!”
So, what is your theme for 2018? What will make you feel STRONG, FREE, UNAPOLOGETIC? How will you live life on your own terms?
Is self-doubt or self-criticism blocking you from living your best life? Are you ready to start “Doin It Your Way?" Contact me so I can support you in transforming your inner voice of self-doubt and self-criticism into a powerful voice of positive self-talk and self-trust by calling me at 510-250-3091 or emailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I am a therapist who helps individuals who are motivated to transform their inner voice of self-doubt and self-criticism into a powerful voice of positive self-talk and self-trust. We help individuals recognize their inner worth, build their self-esteem and speak their truth.